Teenagers Are Counting on Parental Encouragement

The number of young people struggling over COVID related restrictions and limitations on their day-to-day activities has alarmed clinicians on the front lines but positivity is helping in the battle.  As this is National Mental Health Awareness Month, MyHuntleyNews.com will introduce you to several members of NAMI McHenry County (National Alliance on Mental Illness) for their insight and suggestions to help teens with their coping skills.

NAMI McHenry County Executive Director Alex Campbell in an address to the county’s residents said this year’s theme is Thrive, a continuation of 2020’s theme.  Campbell quotes Mental Health America.

“The focus is in providing practical tools that everyone can use to improve their mental health and increase their resiliency regardless of their personal situation,” Campbell said.

A few selected statistics and analysis from Mental Health America, formerly the National Association for Mental Health, creates clarity on where we are currently with depression and anxiety after the pandemic began. Statistics from MHA show just how alarming the rate is for people who’ve experienced symptoms of depression. While symptoms of anxiety increased threefold, symptoms of depression from April through June of 2020 saw a rate four times that of the same period in 2019. Another statistic from MHA in 2020 shows that a majority of psychologists are treating more patients with anxiety disorders than before the COVID pandemic.

Adolescents and teens, ages 6 to 17, are experiencing depression, anxiety, substance abuse, and self-harm at higher levels than pre-COVID numbers have shown.

Guidelines from the Centers for Disease Control led to remote education, social distancing, and mask wearing and continue affecting teens at a time when they normally show significant emotional and developmental changes. Dr. Melissa Katz, clinical director of Samaritan Counseling Center of the Northwest Suburbs, believes in reminding parents to show patience and encouragement because their teenager’s brain (prefrontal cortex) is not all the way developed until they are 25-years-old.

“The brain of a teenager is more impulsive and these kids do have difficulty thinking through long term consequences. They have trouble with future planning and with complications from COVID, teens are facing more difficulty,” Katz said.

Parents are urged to maintain open lines of communication between their children and themselves. Katz, a board member at NAMI McHenry County, sees a lot of parents becoming frustrated with their kids over their verbalized dramatic observations.

“This is going to last forever, your rules are terrible, I’m never going to be a normal kid, or I’m never going to be able to leave the house,” Katz said.

Among this army of clinicians on the front lines is NAMI board member Dr. Stephanie Conforti, a licensed professional counselor with Samaritan Counseling Center.

“A teen needs control in a world that’s out of control. They’re being told what to do. They are trying to find some sense of control to ground themselves,” Conforti said.

COVID-19 complications of varying degree have led to job loss, economic instability, loss of friendships and increased isolation, uncertain futures, increases in drug and alcohol abuses, and suicide. These changes are enough to present a challenge for anyone. Conforti recommends teens stick to a schedule.

“If you have a lot of downtime, you can get into a rut. Change your environment, get out of the bedroom, go for a walk, and return to a regular sleep pattern.”

Conforti and Katz both recognize the good that comes from students returning to their classrooms, but they also notice in some instances where teens are reporting they’re having more anxiety in school. Katz said these are things we haven’t seen before.

“Kids are in the classroom and they are reporting specific phobias or specific concerns related to the classroom.”  Katz specified several teen concerns. “Students are worried some of their classmates are not wearing their mask properly, they may be troubled over their inability to socially distance in the hallways during transition periods, and are worried their classmates may be taking their mask off for snack breaks or water,” Katz said.

For these concerns and others, Katz and Conforti urge parents to be supportive.

“Get your child to look toward the future, now that things are somewhat happening.  We have things to look forward to doing and get excited with your teen,” Conforti advised.

Katz suggested parents just listen, validate, and reframe.

“These teens don’t want to hear stories of our past and they don’t want to hear how things will get better.  They want us to be in those moments right then. If we can support them in those moments in the ways they need, they will continue to come to us and that’s what we want them to do,” Katz assured.

You might ask your son or daughter what they need from you right now. “Sometimes they don’t know either,” Katz reasoned. “That’s why you might gently ask how you can help, such as offering a hug or advice.”

You may ask questions to reach them.

“Do they need some ice cream?  Do they just need a parent to sit with them? Do they need to be distracted? All of these things can help,” Katz said.

As the students returned to school in a number of districts, new concerns have surfaced where the old habits are hard to break. What Conforti had seen as the schools closed for remote learning were such things as increased screen time with social media and virtual video where all the talking was on the Internet. Kristin Schmidt works from within the schools. As a Special Education District 47 Assistant Director and in overseeing the social work department, Schmidt sees firsthand in the schools what Katz and Conforti have been counseling teens about in their clinician settings. Schmidt sits on a round table of clinicians and community service providers in McHenry County. They discuss the mental health needs and how these young people can be helped to overcome their struggles. “Some kids require a level of intervention. There’s definitely been an increase in hospitalizations in McHenry County,” Schmidt said.

The round table discussions include available resources and barriers to obtaining these resources.

Katz asked parents about their teens, “Do they feel comfortable being with other people and are they able to hang out with their friends safely?”

She knows that some of these teens are even doing their own contact tracing.  Katz repeated a question she’s heard in school of teens asking other teens, “I want to spend time with you, but who else have you been with lately?”

From Schmidt’s perspective, a lot of work is ahead before the new school year starts.

“We’ll have to differentiate between kids who had mental health issues before they were exacerbated by this year and are maybe going to need a higher level of support than those that did not necessarily land on the radar but have developed things over the last year. Some of the teens may be experiencing issues short term in that once we get them back in the school and get them back in the groove, they aren’t going to necessarily demonstrate some of that same level of need, potentially for the long term,” Schmidt said.

For any McHenry County school district, the line of communication will be key.  The schools and community providers must talk about what they’ll see in the schools in a few months and as Schmidt says, “to address whatever comes our way in the fall.”

Schools may encounter potential shortcomings in the number of social workers and school psychologists for the fall start of the new school year.

“If you go to a district with one social worker and one school psychologist in the building, they probably can’t see all the kids individually or in small groups, it’s just not manageable. The teachers may have to link different mental health topics or social skill topics or things like that into their lessons and maybe do a read aloud, or have kids do some type of written reflection,” Schmidt suggested.

In ending an interview with Schmidt for this story, she was asked whether we could finish her segment with a positive assessment.

“I don’t think everybody has anxiety or depression, but I do think it’s affected everyone’s mental health in some capacity,” Schmidt said.  “I think we should keep a spotlight on that in a general way because we can normalize the conversations and then for kids who maybe are struggling more than typical, it’s going to be an easier conversation for them to initiate with a trusted adult,” Schmidt said.

This summer could potentially be much better in many ways for teens than the summer of 2020. The vaccines are offered now and we know considerably more about COVID-19 today.  They’ll also have the weather, no academic stress, and an opportunity for social interaction and  possibly the chance to gather in small groups.

“It’s important to kids because this is where their identity lies,” Schmidt said.

Ellen Zimmerman is a licensed clinical professional counselor for Comprehensive Counseling with extensive clinical experience for patients ranging in age from five to 75-years-old. Zimmerman has worked in McHenry County and in central Illinois.  She’s the mother of a teenager and has the unique experience of seeing first-hand the effects of the pandemic on teens.

“I believe we’ll see a new normal after this. I don’t believe we are going to go back to where we were pre-COVID-19 because we’ve learned too much germ wise alone, but we do need to get our kids back into school. We need to do this safely,” Zimmerman said.  “Some schools have really taken that up, such as using plexiglass at every student’s desk.  Some school districts have not,” she said.

Zimmerman feels we are at a turning point, “where we have addressed the hardships and now we are trying to encourage more positivity.”

In doing so, Zimmerman offers parents advice such as creating traditions for our teenagers. “They can be a generation that reinvents society by creating new celebrations and traditions that are meaningful.”