Patrick Gorse: Gratitude in the Morning, Hope Every Day

HUNTLEY — It is an unseasonably warm day in late October when Patrick Gorse is waiting for his Christmas tree to be delivered. He stands outside, scanning the road for a delivery truck. “Some delivery guys are unsure about going down this road in front of the house,” he says.” I like to go out there and meet them.”

Patrick Gorse, 67, has good reason to look forward to Christmas this year. He is alive and comfortable living on a bucolic Huntley farm ­— a complete reversal from where he was in 2015: homeless at age 60 on the streets of Los Angeles, his life hanging in the balance because of decades of addiction.

In his heyday, Gorse was a sought-after comedy writer who caught the attention of Rodney Dangerfield in the 80s. Over time, Gorse’s clientele grew and he made his living writing one-liners for comedians doing late-night talk shows or award show appearances. He worked at the Comedy Store in L.A. and eventually became the host of the Comedy Store in La Jolla, a suburb of San Diego.

CALIFORNIA TO HUNTLEY AND BACK AGAIN

Gorse’s connection to Huntley began in 1979, when his best friend from childhood, Steve, invited him to live in Huntley with an uncle, Earl Philips. Gorse, in his mid-twenties, lived at the farm and got a job writing about high school sports for an Elgin newspaper. His time in Huntley as a young man remains a cherished memory for Gorse. He became an honorary member of the Phillips family, and forged a close bond with “Uncle” Earl.

But Gorse’s career was taking off, and he left Huntley to return to California to be closer to the life of comedy writing. It took him closer to a lifestyle that fueled his growing drug and alcohol addiction, too. During the next few decades, as his career in Los Angeles grew, so did his increasing dependence on drinking and drugs: first marijuana, then methamphetamines, cocaine, and opiates. After two drug-induced heart attacks, Gorse gave up hard drugs in 1997, but his battle with alcohol continued and worsened until 2015. His lowest point came when he was released from a 20-day stint at Los Angeles County Jail, with a warning that any probation violations would land him in prison. Upon his release, Gorse promptly went on a drinking binge.

A week or so later, Gorse walked into his first 12-step meeting. He says he was met by loving and spiritual people who accepted him unconditionally. October 2015 is when he began — with the help of friends and mentors — a long, hard-fought journey to reclaim his life.

Gorse says he wouldn’t change anything about his fall from grace and his gradual climb back to a happy life. “I felt like God was saying to me, ‘If you do this thing, I’ll give you longevity.’”

‘LIGHT, NOT DARKNESS’

Still, Gorse keeps some painful moments close to his heart, to serve as a reminder of how far he’s come from his days of homelessness and addiction in L.A. “I remember pushing my shopping cart down the street and I would see somebody coming down the same side of the street, maybe a mother and a couple kids. She’d grab the kids and they’d walk across to the other side.”

Just a few weeks into his sobriety, Gorse walked down a street, and passed a woman watering her front lawn. She looked him in the eyes and said, “You have the look of someone who’s just come back from church!”

“Wow,” thought Gorse. “That’s different. She saw me, smiling and bright-eyed. She saw light, not darkness.”

Food on Foot, a non-profit that serves unhoused and low-income neighbors in Los Angeles with nutritious meals, clothing, and a fresh start through life-skills training, played a critical role in Gorse getting back on his feet again. They provided him with mental health counseling and bus passes, food, and accountability. He volunteered consistently with the organization to prove that he had the wherewithal to show up to a job every day. Eventually, he had permanent housing and was hired at a restaurant in Beverly Hills, a job he kept for five years.

After homelessness, where he even lived in a bush for a time, the joy of sleeping in a real bed still hasn’t worn off. In the middle of one of his first nights back in housing, Gorse rolled out of bed and awoke with a hard thump on the floor.

“I was out of practice,” he says. “I lay on the floor and just started laughing. It’s hard to roll off the street! A bed is an amazing luxury to have.”

‘HAD YOUR FILL OF THE CITY?’

Gorse visited Huntley in 2021, at the invitation of childhood friend Steve and his wife Diane for “Uncle” Earl’s 90th birthday party. Gorse felt nostalgic being back on the farm where he had happy memories of a simpler time in his 20s.

“I was sitting out there, looking at the pond. I mean, I used to skate on that pond 40-some years ago,” he says. “My eyes were sort of tearing up.”

That’s when Uncle Earl approached him.

“He says, ‘Hey Pat, have you had your fill of the city?’”

“I said, ‘Yeah.’”

Phillips and Gorse hatched a plan: Gorse would leave California and live out at the farm again, like he had when he was 24. Phillips could remain living in his house, and Gorse would be nearby in a basement apartment to help out on the acreage.

In May of 2022, Gorse boarded a plane, bringing along his beloved aging cat and a lot of hope for the future, ready to start his new life in Huntley.

These days, Gorse is content. He has a place to live, a bed, a new kitten, and a quiet life with his Uncle Earl.

“[Earl] is 91 and he is a wonder,” says Gorse. “He’s out there mowing. He still drives every day and just put in a new wood burning stove. The cat keeps running away, and he gives her lectures about not being afraid.”

Now, Gorse says his life has a new purpose: helping others. “Rock bottom is not a destination,” he says. “Rock bottom is where life begins again. It’s not the worst thing to be. If you think of it that way, rock bottom is a place to get up from and see the possibilities. My life began again once I hit rock bottom. I have hope every day because I have gratitude in the morning. I know what life used to be like. If somebody can read this and feel like they can change their life, too, then it’s worth it.”